Question: Oh Great Grand Puffiness, can you tell us how long it will be till MT is extinct?
Yes. Um-um. Gladly. That is Puffness by the way, not Puffiness. Grand Puffiness is a sugar-coated cereal that snaps and crackles when you talk and chew at the same time with your mouth open. That is totally different than naturally squeaking with your mouth open. Snapping and crackling has been around for around 50 years. Naturally Squeaking is fairly new. It's about 15 years old and should not be done with cereal in your mouth, but should be done with your mouth open and your lips moving and words coming out that are the same thing that is going into your ears. That is the biggest mistakes doctors make when they try Naturally Squeaking. They are in just a big hurry they either don't open their mouths or they don't move their lips, or they have run-a-way tongues. Newbie MTs should stick to HomeScribbler basic course and use pencil and paper and do this the old way and use the eraser to get rid of mistakes. Having cereal in your mouth too makes a lot of crumbs that get stuck on that windscreen of the mike boom too, then you have to go out and buy one of those lint removers or vacuum your headset and that really gets to be a hassle. It's better if you eat Jell-O, if you have to eat something while naturally squeaking. That doesn't make any sound, unless, of course, the spoon hits your teeth, but then if you have a misrecognition, you can always say "correct that" and just fix it. A better idea is to use a straw though . So, where were we . . . What was the question again?

Question:

 Oh Puffness: I need to understand voice recognition and how it works and why it doesn't work. Can you give me all the information you have amassed about this technology in all your years of hard work and experience, and give me this information for nothing. And can you tell me all the inside dirt about companies that claim to use it?

Oh hello, yes, you don't want much for nothing I see. Okay. Well let's start with Batman and Robin. When Batman jumps in his car and says "Car, this is Batman, turn on the turbo engines," and the car (isn't that a great car!!) recognizes the voice pattern of the hunk behind that mask (depending on which Batman it was of course and it turns on the turbo engines, that is voice recognition. Is this really great technology or what? But I was wondering myself, Batman is really older than voice recognition so he was really ahead of his time.

Now, James Bond is another story. He was a great user and believer in voice recognition. He likes to walk up to walls and say, "Bond here." and lo and behold the wall would do something; talk back, open, slide sideways, slide up, or disappear as if by magic. But then Bond had a really sexy voice, that Jean Connery did, he did. Any wall would open up for him.

Captain Kirk and Spock were two more voice recognition experts. Perhaps your question is better directed to them. They had this great voice recognizer computer that they just used to say "computer" and she used to say, "Yes, boss?" So I guess you get the drift here. Voice recognition is a technology that recognizes your voice and then makes some object perform an action. Like that clapper thing. That is voice recognition only it's recognizing a clap, then turning on the light to keep the burglers away. Great invention. Horrid commercial.

As to your question as to why doesn't voice recognition work, I wasn't aware that it didn't work. I have a clapper and it always turns on my lights. I don't have have a batmobile so can't try it there, and unfortunately, due to my advancing years, I simply walk into walls before I get a chance to talk to them.

f you could write and give me some examples of why you think voice recognition doesn't work I'd be happy to look into for you, but you know, speech recognition is my area of expertise here on Da Nose and you should really be asking someone else about a technology that has nothing to do with speech recognition. If you have speech recognition questions you would like to me to attempt to answer why just send your questions along and we'd be glad to mull over the answers.

Now to address your question to give you all my expertise and years of experience for nothing; I will be glad to give you all the information you need to know to help you with your project, for money, on a consulting basis, but in no way will I give you all the information I know and most certainly not for free. I'm a very business and busy dragon. Dragoning consulting is a very busy occupation because speech recognition is doing so well and so many doctors are using it and so many software companies are making such great third-party softwares for it. Soon the whole world will be a dragon.

I hope I answered your question about Batman and Robin and the Batmobile. I kind of got of course there with Jean Connery but he's soooooooooooo cute!!! Sorry about that. Till next time!! Write again.