Nestled away in the foothills of Cyberville, hidden behind a curtain of low underbrush and other sorted natural wonders, a resort for all ages. Not for the free thinker, but those that like all the amenities handed to them on a silver platter. Surrounded by knee-high weeds, goldenopportunity rods, and thick overgrown grass lies this charming getaway for the corporate-minded world-leader financial-tycoon wheeler-dealer, advertising guru types. If you are looking for the perfect spot to outsource yourself to or from, this is the place.

Rustic in its charm, this center-for-all-things-Korken on the kompound surrounds you with fantasies unspeakable and some nearly unthinkable. Rustic wooden paneling form both the outside and inside walls forming a natural setting for the backdrop of the "movement" that takes place from within. On the lower floor, a spacious gathering room, again, surrounded by many rustic "boards." Invite your followers in for a meeting of the minds or just to gather and be heard for as long as allowed. Affectionately duped the "ites" room, this is to lull you into a sense of belonging to the kompound and its master. Once accustomed to playing follow the leader, you will become known as a korkenite.

Climbing the rustic steps to the penthouse affords you a breathstinking view of the surrounding land, replete with rustic trail. We are not sure if the trail beats a path to the door or away from the door, but in any case, it is probably two way, so any time that you can break free of the spellbinding atmosphere here you should have an escape route.

The penthouse is affectionately called the throne room, upon which sits the CSO (chief sitting officer) of this corporate wonderment. From the throne room the CSO conducts all business. A technological wonder to behold, the throne room includes state-of-the-art automatic flushing button for flushing out troubles. Make a stink; you are gone. Drop a brick bat; you are gone. Treat anyone in the CSO's favor in a stinky way; you are gone. Act like a turd; you are gone. Try to blow smoke anywhere on the kompound and you are gone. Rest assured that the CSO has years of experience with royal flushes.

Private rooms are available. They come with a watered down view of some gaseous swampland that is populated by cat-o-9-tales. Special advertising rates available for those that think advertising their business on the kompound will be beneficial. Some advertising is free to some special people. How you become special is a closely guarded secret.

Fine dining, located in the Sheatery, is the hallmark of this conversation center and center for world wide business dealings. Tums come complimentary with every room to aid with your digestion of all that you will be forced to swallow. The menu includes such delicacies as broiled fillies (better known as YOFs), flamed oldies in aged wine sass, a time-honored favorite, the customary house tossed word salad, with oily dressing. For desert the offerings include Hia Alimood, a korkenized version of the once famous American pie alamode; cheesy-fake sweets. Or try the Angel Food Cake Surprise. Don't be fooled by the angelic fluffy frosting, cut into it and it is all devil's food. For the chocolate fan, Chocolate Troubles, cooked in the CSO's own kitchen, using password-protected secret sauce, created from fresh-flushed debris, world renowned for sweet outer layer and somewhat pungent center. Very tasty and aromatic, but somewhat hazardous to your wealth. The feast of least resistance, Flaming Newby. On Fridays; baked shroud. And what would the Kompound's menu be without the internationally recognized Kompound Can-O-Lies.

You are never to worry about being out of touch with reality while here, for this place offers instant meddling into all your affairs, so you can rest easy while the CSO tends to everyone's business. Our motto here at the Kompound is you don't have to be empty to be full of -- it.

We are proud to bring this getaway hidden away from the mainstream "view" out in the open for all to see and gawk in wonderment. Open two hours a day for doing your business, the rest of the time is for your viewing enjoyment. This is a family-run business, and besides the CSO the staff includes an inhouse Jack of all trades, legal beagal, marketing giant, advertising wizard and the town crier, all busily tending to the commercialization of the Chalet of the Babes in the Woods.

Email Me for the affordable rates.

Disclaimer: There are rules to abide by here at the Chalot, but they change every quarter hour. No need to commit to memory or study or open the rule book. The "head" master has total control over you while here, so sit back, put on those rose-colored glasses, relax and just let it happen to you.

DIRECTIONS TO THE KOMPOUND:

Follow the yellow brick road... ...follow the yellow brick road... ...follow follow follow follow follow...the yellow brick road.

AND DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THAT MIND BEHIND THE CURTAIN!

(Oh, Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore.)

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