Volume 1 Edition 1 Chapter 5 Page 1: Circulation 9,8039 - Tacky button hits 29,078,002 per year; 194,908 per month; 47,810 per week; 5811 per day; 1968 per minute; 799 per second; 499 per nanosecond
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Terms and conditions and copyrights
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Hits to the button: (DISCLAIMER:
Numbers inflated to impress sponsors and newcomers) Hits to this button are
calculated in the same manner as production units. If you are an MT, your
hits will be tripled for billing purposes and halved for payment purposes.
Sponsors will be charged for backspaces and twice as many clicks if the clickee
is a twin. Hits to the button can be auctioned off at owner's discretion.
DISCLAIMER 2: THESE HITS MAY NOT BE OUTSOURCED
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Are
these people you want handling your personal and private medical information? I worked on this in the middle of the night when the baby was crying. That's why I did a bad job on it. I expect quality care from my doctor and would be very concerned about his/her ethics if they sent work to India. I want my health to come before they think about their profits. I pay more than enough money for doctor visits/insurance.. certainly they can afford American MTs to provide their transcription. I predict that sending our medical records overseas to those countries will result in individual terrorism on our sick, elderly and vulnerable citizens. I don't think it is fair to expect the older MTs to always carry the burden while others can make money so easily. I am too old for this but not old enough to retire. I want my hayday and good accounts with normals. Don't forget, out of every 100 US doctors, 35 are Indians. Kick their butt first... because they are also breach in the patient confidentiality and big source of sending work back to their homeland. YOU CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, not American English, and even British English is chopped to ribbons. Puhleeze give us a break. You think this will be long lasting, but I have news for you buddy, there are plans in the works as I write this post that will put you and your datamining cohorts out of business! No reply is necessary, really. You said that those words were misspelled, but that's the way we spell them in the state where I live! My work was good enough for the hospital when I worked there; it's good enough for you. |
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Exclusive Interview!! with Dori Doarland Sponsor and owner of MT Suns |
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ROTS: Reporter on the Spot (ROTS) here for Da Nose. Wow, what a year this has been already for Da Nose! New sponsors, lots of interviews. In fact, I'm so busy, Durdee Khiddypotti, owner of Full Stop Transcription of Punjabarajisanjeepatel, India was supposed to conduct this one for me. DD: I'm still offended that I was even asked to talk to that man. You people have no sensitivity. ROTS: Well, he does live here in the United States... DD: Let me just get one thing straight. I consented to with the Reporter on the Spot from Da Nose web site to get more traffic for MT Suns, a commercial, for-profit web site. ROTS: Thank you for agreeing to go forward with this interview Dori. I think it's important for the community to see how you feel about some very critical issues. DD: Thanks for inviting me. My goal is a simple one. I want to protect the American citizen from harm by making sure that their personal medical and financial data stays in the US where it is safe. ROTS: That's certainly an admirable goal. How do you plan to accomplish that? DD: As you know, I am the Duumvirate of the MTSuns web site. The goal of the site is to raise awareness of what can happen to you when your confidential data falls into the wrong hands. We also seek to enact legislation that places the strictmost of restrictions upon our data. We feel it's very important to be vocal about our views and bring them up to legislators enacting on our behave like Les Figermoa. ROTS: I see. And what has happened when American confidential data fell into the wrong hands? DD: Well, you'll remember the K-LAME fiasco of last year where a Pakistani typist threated them with exposure if they didn't pay her. There was also the incident involving two individuals working with Health-e-type who also tried to sell records. But it doesn't end there, I'm sure there are many more incidents just like these that happen every day that no one knows about. ROTS: Maybe I'm not stating my question clearly enough - what adverse effect did any of those cases have on the individuals whose data was involved? DD: Uh, well, none I suppose... but that doesn't mean we'll get lucky again. Our records contain our most private information. That information which could easily be used to launch an attack on us.Look, it's a well-known fact that people and governments in that part of the world hate us, are corrupt, and will do anything to attack US citizens. We Americans need to take steps to protect ourselves before it's too late. I know that look on your face, I've seen it many times before. I'm a realist, NOT a racist. Don't even think of playing the race card here, race has nothing to do with what those people done have to us. ROTS: Um... okay, let's uh, switch gears to what is being done to protect American privacy. Earlier you talked about Les Figermoa's new bill... DD: Oh yes, that Les is such a sweatheart, but he's not the only one working on passing legislations to protect Americans there are many laws coming out that will make it illegal to send our data offshore and then the full force of American will slam the door shut on those people who sought to steal our livelihoods. They'll have to move back out of their fancy one-bedroom apartments and move back to the streets and sewers where they belong. They will serve as a dire warning to all who would try to steal a job from an American. ROTS: Why do you suppose so many Americans are using offshore labor? DD: I don't appreciate your tone. First of all, I don't "suppose" I know that companies and doctors are using offshore to save money and make a quick buck. It's a well-known fact that 99 and 44/100 of the work is going offshore. But don't take my word for it. I see that number all the time on TV, soap, in my women's magazines, etc. ROTS: Well, I certainly can't argue with those figures... In light of the cost benefits you just mentioned, how do you respond to people who say that the PHI can be added to the report after it is transcribed? Do you really think that keeping PHI in the US will stop the work from going offshore? DD: Of course it will. Doctors will never change their habits and we all know that they dictate PHI all the time. Have you ever asked a doctor to change the way he dictates, they'll laugh at you! Since PHI can't go offshore they'll have to use an American company for all their dictation. Oh what a wonderous day that will be. Rates will increase and there will be plenty of work for all. ROTS: I'm not following your point here. Wouldn't doctors save time and help preserve privacy by not dictating unnecessary information? DD: Yes, but that doesn't mean they'll stop dictating the PHI. ROTS: If we don't include privacy issues what do you feel is the biggest threat from offshore? DD: It's a well-known fact that the threat of offshore labor has driven down line rates for the US MT in the recent past. That has forced transcription service owners to lower their prices. For instance, my own company US E-Type, has had such dramatic rate reductions that we now advertise we're the cheapest service in America. ROTS: Really? Won't that hurt American services who are trying to charge higher prices? DD: Oh yes, it's true. We are the lowest priced service in America. I don't like it, but we had to do that because of the threat of offshore. Hurt American services? What, you're taking the side of the greedy corporate fat cats and CEOs now? Those "American" services deserve what they get. If I can gobble up their accounts because I'm the cheapest then so be it. ROTS: How do you address the statement that there is a shortage of MTs in the US? DD: That is false reasoning foisted upon us by the offshorers. There is no shortage of US MTs. US MTs just won't work for incredibly low wages. Once offshore is out of the picture and line rates start to rise again you'll see all those displaced US MTs come flooding back to the market. We'll all be making more money than ever. I can't wait to slam the door shut on those offshore traitors. ROTS: What will happen if offshore companies are no longer allowed to bid on accounts in the US? DD: You'll see, we're very close to that now. Rates will go up as if by magic. MTs who have left the field will come flooding back. We'll all have more than enough work and the numbers of working US MTs will swell to gigantic proportions. ROTS: Hmmm... So you predict an abundance of MTs and high pay rates? Doesn't that fly in the face of the economic law of supply and demand? DD: I don't understand the question. ROTS: All right, I'm just about done here. Can you summarize for me the difference between the low rates a national company pays MTs and the rates paid to MTs by a service advertising that it has the lowest American prices? DD: Are you trying to piss me off? There's a big difference! First, we don't offshore. They are the ones driving down prices and keeping US MTs from earning a living wage. NOT ME!! We need to outlaw the practice of sending PHI offshore because that alone will stop offshore transcription. Doctors will continue to dictate PHI in the body of the report because they don't care about saving time. They are too set in their ways to change anything. Furthermore, doctors and hospitals don't care about saving money or who has the cheapest service. They pay more for quality. When offshore is stopped dead in its tracks and there are more US MTs back in the workforce higher prices are exactly what is going to happen. The healthcare industry will welcome it because it means a stronger economy and benefits us all. Don't believe it will happen? Just you wait! Clearly we must be doing something right or you wouldn't be so hostile to me and asking all these leading questions. If you were on my message board I'd shut you down so fast it would make your head spin, but this isn't my message board isn't it. So get out of my site and don't ever come back. But before you go I'd really like to know what offshore gives you that you could so easily sell out your fellow Americans. You traitor!! Hell hath no furry like an American worker scorned. We're coming and we'll win, just ask Saddam! ROTS: Whoa Dori, calm down. You seem to be getting little too worked up about this. DD: Worked up about American jobs? D*mn right. Personal attacks as well as questioning my motives and intelligence will not be tolerated! I don't need to be told to calm down!! I'M PERFECTLY CALM! As you can see our efforts to stop our prohibited healthy information (PHI) from going offshore are starting to pay off. Da Nose is obviously very afraid of the work we've been doing (because we're successful) and found it necessary to try to poke holes in my well-reasonable arguements. I can't ban you but I don't have to sit here for this. This interview is OVER!! ROTS: Next issue - TJJ, MT Suns' most active repeater! |
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AS DA NOSE FLIES
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Fear of flying takes on a whole new meaning this week with the announcement by Quality Care for Less, the international branch of the Airspace Surgical Society (ASS), that they will be working with several American-based medical insurance carriers to expand their popular "Surgery and Sun" program. Introduced last year the "Surgery and Sun" concept broke medical barriers by bundling an in-air surgical procedure with recuperation in the vacation destination of your choice. Some of the more popular procedures, "Appendectomy to Alaska," "Hip replacements bound for Hawaii", "Lithotripsy over Lithuania" currently have waiting lists of over a year or more! Because of the escalating costs of using salaried surgeons and other ancillary healthcare personnel several insurance carriers are now requiring patients to board those planes to third world countries in order to have these costly procedures performed at rock bottom prices. Patient employers had heretofore been highly critical of allowing time off for these procedures because of the added time traveling to and fro added to employee requests for PTO. In an effort to increase employer buy-in for this process intense brainstorming between ASS and the BIRC (Brazil, India, Russia, and China) developed what they feel is a win-win situation for patients and employers alike. Beginning Monday, patients will be able to board specially scheduled air flights that will bring the hospital to them! Manned by carefully selected surgeons and support teams on a rotating basis from BIRC these flights will lift off and circle just outside of American airspace until the procedure is completed. Patients will then be promptly returned to airport of origin, allowing the insurer to take advantage of third world prices and shaving days off the PTO for the employer! When pressed, ASS reluctantly admitted that there has been some initial unpleasant reaction from U. S. healthcare personnel and surgeons who have pointed out that this may take business away from them, but ASS assured Da Nose that it is currently negotiating with several professional organizations to hire U.S. personnel at third world prices as well, "There is more than enough work to go around," reassured the ASS spokesperson, "and if U.S. citizens really want to work that bad they will be more than happy to jump at this joint venture." |
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NO PAYEE, NO GETTEE... Negotiations between the CEO of "Fannies in the Right Seats," (FARTS) one of the largest employers of medical transcriptionists in the United States, and the representative for the "Fast Fingers Union," (FFU) broke down Monday. At issue were the unannounced company policies that suddenly appeared in the company handbook each employee is required to have at their workstation. Despite management's insistence that every MT received a carefully worded subliminal message delivered to them through the automated phone system when they would call in sick the FFU contends this did not constitute adequate notification. The policies first became an issue when MTs began to notice discrepancies in the line counts on their paychecks. The new policies at issue include: Saturdays/Sundays: No weekend bonus but you get paid for all spaces, tabs, returns, symbols, macros, shortcuts and normals. Type like crazy! Monday: OK, we're caught up because so much work was done over the weekend. No pay for spaces and tabs today. Tuesday: How did we get behind? You get paid for spaces but not tabs or symbols. Wednesday: Hump day. No pay for normals or macros. Thursday: No pay for normals, macros or spaces today. Friday: All lines are counted on 100 characters on Fridays. Occasionally we may request that you transcribe using alternating fingers on alternating days. On Mondays, you get paid for typing with fingers 1, 3 and 4. This will of course, necessitate keeping separate logs for the right hand and left hand. Please keep track of lines and submit a per day/per job/per minute report (you don't get paid for lines in the report but can include spaces if you like). Apparently matters came to a head when 575l batch reports utilizing the no space payment technique bypassed QA and were returned directly to the client. (Report provided by the client, PHI redacted) ThepatientwasbroughttotheCenterasanoutpatient,transportedtothe surgicalsuite,whereshewasplacedonthetableinsupinepositionwithan IVgoing.Thepatientreceivedsedationwith100mcgoffentanyland2mgof Versed.TheareawaspreparedwithpHisoHexsoapandwater,anddrapedin sterilefashion.Theskinandsubcutaneouslayersurroundingwas infiltratedwith1%Xylocaine,followedwith0.25%Marcainewith epinephrine.Asmallincisionwasmade,elliptiform,toexcisethesmall skinporeoverlyingthesebaceouscyst. As they left the bargaining table FFU representatives chanted in unison their signature slogan ... No Payee, No Gettee, prompting the supporting MTs outside to begin the prearranged slinging of spit balls prepared from the handbook pages in dispute. |
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FAST FOOD PRIVACY ACT The Department of Labor revised (yet again) it's labor outlook for 2005, Previously citing medical transcription as a growth industry, the DOL had to completely revamp its statistics when medical transcriptionists, beleaguered by stringent federal privacy regulatory requirements and offshore competition, sought relief in careers the fast food service industry. The jobs just weren't there," states one hopeful wannabe, "so I went to Burger Boy. I have to feed my family somehow!" One transcription service owner described the grim outlook, citing onerous regulatory requirements for shredding and encrypting. "The glory days are gone," she said. "I wish we could go back to when nobody scrutinized our businesses, we could drop in a template and normalize as many lines as we wanted, and we didn't even buy business licenses. I've taken a management job at Friar Tuck-it-Inn as a hostess - it's just gotten to be too much." Hopefuls were dealt a blow today when the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced that Congress has passed the Fast Food Privacy Act (FFPA) with a healthcare offshoring add-on that was included after the vote (the President's office denies a cover-up of the investigation into this occurrence). Fast food workers will be required to undergo background checks and sign confidentiality agreements. Further, the FFPA will require all fast food establishments to undergo extensive revamping of their ordering process, including securely transmitting orders through electronic media for privacy and accuracy. Employees will be prohibited from discussing orders with one another or other patrons, or face stiff fines and/or reprimand. Restaurants will be required to erect barriers to prevent patrons from infringing on each other's privacy as they eat. I just got back from an FFPA Privacy Officer seminar," said Jerry. "It's crazy. If a patron asks what another customer is eating, we can't tell him even if it's his wife!" "With obesity a rising problem in America," stated Senator Babble Pugilist (D-Cal), "it's really important that we secure the privacy of eating habits in America. This bill is a step in the right direction." The DOL Statistics Division does note it's hiring statisticians and clerk-typists. |
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E-mail me. I will be using a fake name but sign my own so you'll know it's me. You have to keep the information secret - we're hoping those foreigners don't know how to read public records. |
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M E M O From: Council of Angels To: God Date: This is eternity - does it matter? Subject: Online prayer boards We recently held a meeting to address the pervasive prayer boards springing up on the Internet and the additional burden this creates. We had little problem handling prayer groups and prayer rolls. They tended to be community based and the regional representatives could accommodate them without too much trouble. However, the online prayer boards create problems of their own. They increase incoming prayers by approximately ten times (see quarterly reports submitted for the last 500 years), which creates more work. There are also individuals who feel the need to post prayer requests in every forum they find, which exponentially increases the number of responses. We've received prayers from people don't even know the poster or the situation and feel the process is becoming too impersonal. They are international, which requires us to obtain translators. Just last week, an MT posted a request for prayers because her cat died. She bought the cat from a breeder in Florida, who was originally from Cuba. He had sold a litter mate to a man in England, who then sold it to a friend in Bulgaria. The next thing we knew, we had to find two translators, all for the same prayer. Only Divine Intervention kept the problem from spilling over into East Europe - which would have been disastrous. And speaking of MTs, this is our largest single problem group. First of all, they keep insisting on privacy and security, even when they post in an international venue and request prayers. Second, they want to pray about absolutely everything. Do You know how many prayers one MT transcribing for a cancer center can generate with one post online? Yes, I'm sure You do. Then they start fighting about what to pray about and then pray for forgiveness (and those are the nice ones). In addition, We would like to address the rumor that prayers have been outsourced. This is emphatically denied; all prayers are being handled in their country of origin. We have had offers from U.S.-based prayer boards to handle prayers for all English-speaking countries. The current exchange rate between Heavenly currency and the American dollar makes the pricing attractive, We have determined that while this is a short-term solution to the current crises, it is not a viable long term strategy and would place undue burden on the Angels, who would have to act as go-betweens. |
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